Hot Mess Comparing

She stood in my living room in her color coordinated outfit and fashionable pumps. Her nails were perfectly manicured and her hair just right.

We’d started out as young moms together. We both homeschooled for a time and when her girls made it to middle school age, she put them in the local Christian school and went back to work. She spoke about her business and how well it was going.

She wasn’t bragging. But I felt this twinge of ick deep in my soul.

I’d picked up her three kids from school for her and they’d spent the afternoon with my crew. My living room looked like seven children had run crazy in there. I was wearing a tattered pair of tennis shoes, ragged running shorts, and a T-shirt that I’d painted in. My ponytail by this time of day was sagging and what wasn’t caught back in a frizzled mass of hair clung to my neck and floated about my face.

I was totally a Hot Mess.

After my friend collected her children and left, I couldn’t shake the dissatisfaction that clung to my soul like soap scum on my bathtub.

It just didn’t seem fair. I served God just as well as my friend did. I work just as hard each day here at home. And yet, her life seemed so full of “glamour.” While she was meeting clients for lunch, I was settling arguments between my teen and middle schooler about who could have the last piece of leftover pizza from the fridge. While I was sitting at the table with a child wailing over a math test, she was getting her hair and nails done.

I was put out with God.

I envisioned a future like my friend’s.

I could quit homeschooling, enroll my kids in regular school, go to work, and not have the hassle that I dealt with each day. Someone else could be responsible for pounding algebra into my teen’s thick skull. All day long , my kids could dirty up someone else’s bathroom and track dirt in on someone else’s floor.

When I finally got done with my rant to God, he brought to mind a verse that I’d just found in my morning Bible study.

1 Corinthians 7:17 reads, “Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him.”

I had even underlined this verse in my Bible.

I was convicted.

God has called me to homeschool my four kids. Sometimes this means tears, and dirt, and frustration, but I am exactly where God wants me to be. There are beautiful moments, and there are crummy ones. But if I am to follow God, I need to have joy even when things are difficult, irritating, and messy.

I am sure my friend’s life is not a bed of roses. She has days when she’s tired. She has times when she is frustrated. I am sure she has days when her house is messy and her kids are tired and cranky.

It’s not that my life is better than hers. It’s that we both need to find contentment in the roles in which God has placed us.

It is not my job to walk her path. It is not her job to walk on my path.

Besides, when I really thought about it, I realized that I am not cut out for “lunching with clients.” I’m a homebody.

I’m not cut out for designer clothes and high heels. I prefer comfy jeans and slightly worn T-shirts that don’t get ruined when I’m out on the farm.

I don’t want to have to put on makeup every day and get my nails done.

I think God has put me exactly I need to be and I need to stop the stupid comparisons. He’s not called me to that. He’s called me to this.

And when it’s all said and done, His calling is the most Glorious Thing ever. Even when it’s clad in tattered shorts and beat up tennis shoes.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. thehomeschoolmomblog
    Oct 31, 2014 @ 04:39:52

    I really like how generous you’ve been with this post. Most people would have put down their friend, insisting she was not pleasing the Lord in her life and turning away from her children’s best interests. I applaud your effort to look at her fairly and recognize the choice is between her and the Lord. Good job!

    Rest assured, we all have days when we ‘look our best’ and days when we look just plain tired. The important thing is to be where the Lord wants us, no matter what we look like.

    Excellent thoughts; thank you for sharing! 🙂

    Reply

    • fairfarmhand79
      Oct 31, 2014 @ 08:58:33

      Thanks for stopping by! I’ve learned that I can’t judge God’s will for someone else’s life. I’m barely able to understand what He wants ME to do! My friend is a wonderful person and she’s hired my teen to work in her office part-time. She’s filling a role for my daughter that is sorely needed. The discontent is my own issue and it has nothing to do with her. Finding joy helps me to stay content with what God’s given me.

      Thanks for your kind words!

      Blessings, April

      Reply

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