On Being a Mom: It’s Okay to Not Love Every Minute

I have this love-hate relationship with mommy blogs and some homeschooling blogs. Some of these are so inspiring. Others just make me feel like a loser. There’s the set of blogs that have the “Martha Stewart Mom” who is always doing great crafts, posting organizational tips, and telling me how to have a more efficient homeschool. There are also those blogs where the mom posts inspiring anecdotes about their kids and how much fun they are all having together with fields trips and fun activities.

Many of these kinds of bloggers write about how they have never felt more fulfilled since having children and how much they are “loving every minute of being a mom.”

I really hope they are using hyperbole.

Because I’m a mom…a really great mom…and I don’t love every minute of it.

I don’t like having a messy, dirty, disorganized house.

I don’t like children pounding on the bathroom door every time I want to use the toilet or take a shower.

I don’t like washing 45 cups every day because taking a single sip of water contaminates a cup beyond reuse.

I was happy when my last baby slept all night.

Weaning my nurslings gave me sighs of relief.

I was so glad when I was able to pack the last diaper bag away and toss the old bottles and sippy cups in the trash.

Cleaning out the toddler toys, burp rags, and dismantling the crib wasn’t a terribly sad thing for me.

I had a few twinges of missing those sweet cuddly infants, but overall, I was glad to be moving past the days of babies and toddlers and into the world of bigger kids.

Don’t get me wrong–I love my children very much. They have made me who I am today and I like being a mom (most of the time). I like talking to my kids and listening to them. I like watching them learn together, and teaching my son about the world is so amazing because every tiny fact is fascinating to him. I like watching my oldest daughter learning to navigate the world and think for herself. I enjoy watching my second daughter draw and checking out her pictures makes me smile. My middle daughter is very kind, sharing and loving, and it brings me great joy to recognize those traits in her.

However, like any job, there are parts of it that I don’t like very much. I don’t like overwhelming chaos, bickering, piles of dishes, and mounds of dirty laundry.

See, those mommy blogs that I referenced above typically respond to complaints about housekeeping or typical kid chaos by saying things like, “Well, one day the kids will be gone, the house will be clean and I will be all alone.”

I find such responses patronizing and irritating.

Am I supposed to just enjoy dirt, fusses, and chaos because “some day they will be gone.” ?

Am I a bad mom because I get annoyed at dirty socks in the floor and kids who don’t put things away?

I really don’t think so. I don’t not enjoy my kids because I admit that certain things about living with them are un-fun. I am not being a bad mom because I don’t “love every second” of this life. I don’t plan on mourning my clean house as an empty-nester. Of course, I am sure I will miss parts of my kids being at home. However, I know for a fact that I will get great pleasure from sitting on the couch in my clean living room, reading a magazine, and not having to think about who did what chores and whose socks are in the middle of the floor.

And that’s okay.

I give every mom reading this permission to NOT love every minute of mother hood. There are great things and there are not so great things. You can be an amazing mom and hate sorting laundry, scrubbing the floor around the toilet, and being tired of telling kids to do stuff.

So yeah, love your kids and enjoy them, But you’re not a failure or a bad mom if the craziness gets to you. Come join the club!


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